| Location | Newark |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 01/02/2008 |
| Date of Death | 01/02/2008 |
| Visitors | 7,055 since 11/04/2008 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
first born child to lisa hague and kristian commons and missed every single second of every day.
lola came into this world sleeping on 1st february 2008
38 weeks pregnant hospital bag in the boot of my car, nursery full of toys, pram, cot and 2 hearts
full of love ready for the grand arrival - what can go wrong, what can possibly go wrong when you
are 38 weeks pregnant....... everything!
31st Jan i had a scan at city hospital just to see why our angel hadnt grown any in the last 2 weeks
that is where my world shattered and i was told that lola didnt have a heart beat, i felt my heart
stop beating too. it was the only appointment i attended alone because i knew everything would be
ok, i didnt need anyone to be there.
Before this happend heart breaking was it raining on a saturday or realising you have left your
expensive purse on the top of your car whilst putting the shopping in and then driving off.
Heartbreaking had a whole new meaning from that point, heart breaking is telling the man you love
that his daughter isnt going to be here in 2 weeks. Heartbreaking is delivering your baby and then
to be told you cant have her to take home after 8 and a half months that your body has been her
home. Heartbreaking is looking at kristian and seeing the look of fear and dissapointment in his
eyes.
i went into natural labour that night and god decided to go a little easier on us at this point and
within 6 hours and 40 gass and air tanks later she was here. i can not begin to describe what that
feeling is like to deliver your baby into this world knowing she will never take a breath or look
into your eyes.
my best friend kellie lives in dubai and she has been a rock for me, even 5,000 miles away she
always knows what to say, i know at any point i could have said get on that flight and she would
have been on the next flight home!! thanks kel.
We decided to have a full postmortem on lola to find out exactely why we lost her, we also decided
to have her organs donated to research. if lola shares me and her dads caring characteristics she
would be happy with that choice im sure.
Then it was a case of coming home and trying to get our heads round that there would be a funeral in
a couple of weeks and the fact that we had left the hospital and left lola there :-(
The funeral went as well as your babies funeral can be but only me and her daddy attended (this
wasnt through lack of people wanting to attend i can assure you) thats the way we wanted it , the
funeral was our time to grieve and until that point i dont think we truely understood that she wasnt
coming. It hits you like a ton of bricks that the name that you have said a million times and have
been so excited about is on a white casket twice the size of a shoe box 5 days before you were due
to have her.
Where do our lives take us now, im not sure ...i would like to think that one day i will have a baby
that i am able to hold in my arms but who knows if we will ever be strong enough to do such a
thing.
I would like to thank my partner kristian for without him i would not have such a beautiful
daughter.
We love lola more than anything she is constantly in our thoughts,
A child who loses its parent is called an orphan
A man who looses his wife is called a widower
A woman who looses her husband is called a widow
However, there is no name for a parent who looses a baby
There is no word to describe such pain
mummy and daddy and everyone down here loves you sweetheart, you will never ever be forgotten!!
good night angel x x x
Results from postmortem showed that my placenta had given up and consequently not fed lola properly,
the most common cause for stillborn babies.
thank you for taking the time to read our story. x lisa and kris x
please do not leave lola gifts on this site, im not happy that this is a new feature on this site
and is made for you to feel like you are leaving her gifts. Kris and myself will make a donation to
gonetoosoon. thank you x
Saw this and thought of you!
"there are features of pain that increase the intensity of its hold over us. The first is loneliness. Pain in deeply personal, it is ours and there is no way in which it can be transferred to other people... we discover how lonley it is to be the only occupant of our bodies... we may be surrounded by sympathetic and loving people, but they are outside of us, not inside where the pain is."
Love sally
Hey little lady
Hey little lady how are you???
I hope your behaving up there!
Its late at night and I can't sleep so thought I would come and have a natter with you, where have the last 7 months gone? I went to see your mummy the other day at work,but couldnt find her, i hope shes ok and work are being good to her.
Daddys doing really well and must have you watching over him for extra good luck.
Better let you get to bed its way past my bed time never mind yours!!
Sending you a big kiss xxxxxxxxxXXXXXXX
a message from your mummy
Hello tinker bells!!!
i wish i could have kissed your little toes and maybe bit your bottom, your daddy has just told me to say hi and give you a kiss.x
i always tell you how i regret not holding you, if i could go back in time lola then i would hold you but god himself wouldnt have been able to take you away if i had. Well when you think about it ofcourse i held you, i held you inside me for 8 and a half months and ive been holding you in my hear ever since.
Your daddy has been asked to play for scotland again, you be a star and keep sending those vibes that you do, you are his guardian angel baby.
when im asleep come and give me a kiss on my cheek, i miss you and i love you more than you can possibly imagine.
Good night x x x x x x x x x x x mummy x x x x x x
hey princess!
iv had a really busy day today, aunty natty is coming to live with me so iv been sorting all my things out to make room for all her things.
i was sortin through some papers and i found the letter and picture of your first scan you sent to me when you were 12 weeks and 6 days old - can you remember? its a lovely letter and il keep it forever, it says 'your really looking forward to come and stay at aunty tillys' i hope you do pop in from time to time to see me and keep your eye on me, (dont scare me though, hehe!!)
i think about you alot and i really miss you pudding!
love you lots xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I feel the pain.
I feel your pain, the emptieness inside. They say time is a healer but its been 10months since my angle Lola went to play with the angels, and i feel time gets worse.
Its hard to get round, no-one to ask why. Why do things like this have to happen?
But i belive now safe in God's garden our angels will be there looking down on us sending us all love and kisses.
No words can be said to make you feel right, I find it hard to write things, no i know how people feel when they say they done know what to write. But i just wanted to let you know that your not alone, and i send love to you and your family though this very hard time.
My Lola rest in the garden on angels.
Sleep tight little one be good up there. xxxxxxXXXXXXxxxxx
6months old
6months old, 6months of pain, 6months of heartache. 6months of questions. Has it really been 6months my angel?? Well the dates cant lie so it must be.
i miss you, if i got 1cm closer to heaven evertime i said i miss you id be holding your hand now. one of my favourite parts of the day is when i get into bed and your daddy looks at your original picture, he always smiles and lets out a little giggle (god you would have made him melt) we could have done some serious damage to his credit card!! yep he giggles and finds you soo cute and normally says night miss pickles, he prefers that photo of you rather than your new one cos he actually likes you so colourful, he says its the real you. i like both your pictures sweetie and your like a proper lady cos your easier on the eye with your make up on, wink wink!
i hope you wern't in any pain when you passed away and if you did have to go then im glad it was where i could still look after you, i would of hated to see you wired up to a machine fighting for your life.i can imagine that if you are anything like me you would have though 'if ive got go then i havent got time to horse around ill just go now' and i dont blame you for that. I can feel you with me somedays not as much as i would like but on the odd occasion i get that feeling. well my sugar pie you behave up there and dont go talking to any angel boy babies, ha ha watch out for matthew cos if hes anything like his mummy he'l be a right card!!,i do hope that you have met Eryn, Jessica matthew and caitlyn as im friends with their mummys. dont you worry about me or your daddy we have so many people down here looking after us. Good night floss its 1.45am now and your daddy has been sleeping since 10.30pm! hes like sleeping beauty xxxxxxxxx
thank you to everybody who has looked on/wrote on lolas site, i love to read what you have put.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Little Star
Ive read your entries and i still can not imagine what you are going through as a mother! Nor can i imagine what it must be like as a father! I have only recently heard of your precious loss and i feel heartbroken for you both! You are very special to have created and delivered such a beautiful baby girl. I know Lola can not be with the rest of us for a long time but i know she will be looking down now and smiling them cheeks upon you both!!! Lola will be to you what you want her to be as she would have if she were here with you now and i know that she would have been the most wonderful little thing because you both would not of had it any other way and for that she is very lucky to have you both for parents. I dont think that dealing with the grief of losing a child, your child, is ever going to leave you and everyday will probably start with the day she was called to heaven but soon i hope for you both that you will have better ways of coping with it and live your lives for Lola's spirit. On Sunday me and my partner along with our little girls will go to church and light a candle for Lola!! All our thoughts are with you both and especially to Lola Grace. Love to you all. x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
what a beautiful little girl
Lisa, when i heard what happened to baby lola i really wanted to send flowers or a card, but ive not seen you in years and have no idea where youre living! Then i heard about this site and realised what a strong, strong woman you are, looking at the picture of lola and reading your speech and messages i have literally been crying and laughing, smiling and sobbing! Baby lola must be watchin you everyday and feel so loved and happy, with such wonderful parents.
I hope so much that lola gets a little brother or sister some day and i know that the sentance is over used but i genuinely do wish you all the happiness in the world. thinking of you both. jo beniston xxxx
a poem
dont let them say i wasnt born, that something stopped my heart
i felt each tender squeeze you gave, i loved you from the start,
although my body you cant hold, it doesnt mean im gone, this world was worthy not of me, god chose that i move on,
i know the pain that drowns your soul, what you are forced to face, you have my word, i'll fill your arms, someday we will embrace.
you'll hear it was meant to be, god doent make mistakes, but that wont soften your worst blow, or make your heart not ache.
i'm watching over all you do, another child you'll bear,
believe me when i say to you that i am always there.
thre'll come a time i promise you, when you will hold my hand, stroke my face and kiss my lips and then you'll understand.
although i never breathed your air, or gazed into your eyes, that doesnt mean i never was......
A angel never dies
Keep shining little princess
I’m currently listening to the lyrics of the Plain White T’s- Delilah that was sung by Phil at your service and I’m thinking how true the words are to you Lola.
“I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true”
“Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely”
I’ve wanted to write on here for such a long time but I just didn’t no the right words to say, listening to this song has helped and has given me inspiration to be able to write an essay!!!
Whenever I hear this song it will always remind me of you and your beautiful face and the courage and strength your mummy has got through at this time in her life.
Although we didn’t get to meet you, you were loved by everyone around your mummy and daddy and will always be in our hearts and thoughts.
Your mummy and daddy gave you a beautiful service and we knew you were their in your presence by the beautiful weather we had, shining over us! It was perfect just as it should have been.
I met up with your mummy on Wednesday and had a fantastic day together shopping in Lincoln. It was lovely to see her again and have the chance to be able to talk about you, everytime she said your name she had a smile on her face and was lovely to see how loved you are even though you are not able to be with us. Although your mummy puts on a brave face I could see the hurt and pain she is going through knowing that you are not in her arms where you should be.
Keep shining and sending mummy your love and signs that you are looking over her like you did on Wednesday night. Your mummy couldn’t believe that you had sent her a sign in the shape of a heart, she was holding onto it so tightly. But what we all wanted to know was why were you in a nightclub???
Each day is hard for your mummy and daddy, but they are strong and have the memories of their first child being a beautiful little girl-Lola Grace, they are very proud of their special little princess.
Sweetdreams Lola Grace xxxxxxx
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