| Location | Newark |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 01/02/2008 |
| Date of Death | 01/02/2008 |
| Visitors | 7,054 since 11/04/2008 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
first born child to lisa hague and kristian commons and missed every single second of every day.
lola came into this world sleeping on 1st february 2008
38 weeks pregnant hospital bag in the boot of my car, nursery full of toys, pram, cot and 2 hearts
full of love ready for the grand arrival - what can go wrong, what can possibly go wrong when you
are 38 weeks pregnant....... everything!
31st Jan i had a scan at city hospital just to see why our angel hadnt grown any in the last 2 weeks
that is where my world shattered and i was told that lola didnt have a heart beat, i felt my heart
stop beating too. it was the only appointment i attended alone because i knew everything would be
ok, i didnt need anyone to be there.
Before this happend heart breaking was it raining on a saturday or realising you have left your
expensive purse on the top of your car whilst putting the shopping in and then driving off.
Heartbreaking had a whole new meaning from that point, heart breaking is telling the man you love
that his daughter isnt going to be here in 2 weeks. Heartbreaking is delivering your baby and then
to be told you cant have her to take home after 8 and a half months that your body has been her
home. Heartbreaking is looking at kristian and seeing the look of fear and dissapointment in his
eyes.
i went into natural labour that night and god decided to go a little easier on us at this point and
within 6 hours and 40 gass and air tanks later she was here. i can not begin to describe what that
feeling is like to deliver your baby into this world knowing she will never take a breath or look
into your eyes.
my best friend kellie lives in dubai and she has been a rock for me, even 5,000 miles away she
always knows what to say, i know at any point i could have said get on that flight and she would
have been on the next flight home!! thanks kel.
We decided to have a full postmortem on lola to find out exactely why we lost her, we also decided
to have her organs donated to research. if lola shares me and her dads caring characteristics she
would be happy with that choice im sure.
Then it was a case of coming home and trying to get our heads round that there would be a funeral in
a couple of weeks and the fact that we had left the hospital and left lola there :-(
The funeral went as well as your babies funeral can be but only me and her daddy attended (this
wasnt through lack of people wanting to attend i can assure you) thats the way we wanted it , the
funeral was our time to grieve and until that point i dont think we truely understood that she wasnt
coming. It hits you like a ton of bricks that the name that you have said a million times and have
been so excited about is on a white casket twice the size of a shoe box 5 days before you were due
to have her.
Where do our lives take us now, im not sure ...i would like to think that one day i will have a baby
that i am able to hold in my arms but who knows if we will ever be strong enough to do such a
thing.
I would like to thank my partner kristian for without him i would not have such a beautiful
daughter.
We love lola more than anything she is constantly in our thoughts,
A child who loses its parent is called an orphan
A man who looses his wife is called a widower
A woman who looses her husband is called a widow
However, there is no name for a parent who looses a baby
There is no word to describe such pain
mummy and daddy and everyone down here loves you sweetheart, you will never ever be forgotten!!
good night angel x x x
Results from postmortem showed that my placenta had given up and consequently not fed lola properly,
the most common cause for stillborn babies.
thank you for taking the time to read our story. x lisa and kris x
please do not leave lola gifts on this site, im not happy that this is a new feature on this site
and is made for you to feel like you are leaving her gifts. Kris and myself will make a donation to
gonetoosoon. thank you x
A special mummy & a special baby girl
Well little missy, what a special special mummy you have. I have just read your mummys beautiful reading & she has put into words so well her love and devotion to you, I am sure there was not a dry eye in the house. I am so sorry I could not be there on your special day but I was thinking of you & mummy & daddy. I hope you are playing nicely with Matthew & you are both being good bubbas with the angels. Bless you Lovely Lola x
my speech from the service
5 months ago today i was doing exactly what i am doing now, well i say exactly the same there were alot less people but there was a small white coffin. Yes 5months to the day of lola's funeral. i cant believe it has been 5 and a half months since lola died, it feels so fresh and raw it could have been yesterday, although sometimes it feels like we have been trapped in this nightmare forever.
Nobody came to lola's funeral just me and her daddy, but really how special is that? we actually got half an hour in the same room and oddly it felt like we were a proper family. Ofcourse we are a proper family even though lola is not here she will always be our first daughter, (a bloody good looking one at that!)
i can remember recently a nurse looking at lola's picture and saying your baby has the chubbiest cheeks for 4lb 3oz, who does she take after? she looked up saw me and said that must be you then! i thought kick me while im down you cow :-)
i sometimes imagine what lola would have been like with traits from her daddy and me in her. ive pondered over everything from her being a baby and taking her first steps to her first day at secondary school. Here are a few things i had to take into consideration.
Kris got 119 commendations whilst at school
i got 174 ....... detentions!
kristian's photo is all around Quarrydale School as their star achiever
i'm still wanted for setting the fire alarms off to get a longer break
Kris went to after school clubs and his mum and dad's house was full of trophies and certificates
i went to brownies for the first time and got asked not to come back as i wrapped a bossy kid up in a ground sheet and sent her down the stairs.
2 things are for sure, 1 is that she would have been a right character and the 2nd is that she would of had a heart of gold. Plus if she'd of taken after her daddy she would have been a stunner.
One of the hard things about this situation is that people do not have a clue what to say to you
do i mention her baby? but i dont want to upset her
so people think the best thing to do is to dart off in the opposite direction, well............ people are going to have to get out of bed earlier than that to catch me out, i died my hair brown went into work and all the nosy ones said who's that new bod? i spun round they saw it was me but had nowhere to run or hide!!
So adults i have figured are useless but kids on the other hand see everything in black and white and its a refreshing change. I have gorgeous 5yr old nephew called AJ, now then he had been told in the car not to mention auntie lisa's baby has died. The first thing he did is come running in give me a massive cuddle and said auntie lisa your baby has died, are you sad?! well everyone wanted to crawl up ..... somewhere very dark! so i sat AJ on my knee and explained that lola had gone with jesus, he replied that he knew and he was very excited that she had died because his fish had died a few months before and he needed someone to look after them in heaven. He also asked if i could buy him a large fish tank with 3 fish in, so i thought me, kris and him. He said i will call one auntie lisa, one uncle kristian and one baby lola fish and then you will have your family back. (what a star)
im having counselling at the moment and she has mentioned that i use humour to get by alot, which is true and i have never been any different. She said it would be helpful to use this time to tell you exactly how i feel with no frills or jokes, so here goes.
Everyday can be a struggle when you wake up to silence instead of a noisy house as it should be now. i walk into the nursery and memories of all the things we have brought and all the decorating we did come flooding back. Somedays i can stare at lola's picture for hours, i have studied every part of her face. i feel sometimes like i have 2parts of my life, my lola life and my normal life. I can get scared to do the simplest of things like go out alone, just incase someone hasnt heard that she has died and asks how she is. i can not tell you how it feels to bring a baby into this world knowing she will never take a breath.
i can dare bet i am crying now which proves what the counsellor was trying to prove, i can appear stronger when im telling jokes, smiling and not crying.
So i can stand here with the brightest coloured dress on and kris can have the whitest car but is this to try and cover to broken hearts. i now hope we can not fool you anymore. We have 2 broken hearts but we have the rest of our lives to help them heal. Although there will always be a massive chip in both of them, but thats ok its just our little girl letting us know she's still around!!
Thank you. x
thank you to everyone for a wonderful day
The reason we were all together at lola's service is the saddest of them all. All this has happend though and its time to accept it. yesterday was an amazing day, if id of had everyone at her funeral it wouldnt have been a celebration of life as it was, it would have been mourning a death, i much prefer it the way it was.
from the service to the speaches to the weather everything was so much better than imagined and im so glad that all of you were there to share it with us. 80 people turned to up to pay respects to a little lady they never met, she is up in heaven now feeling super special and that is all thanks to you. i cant really describe to you how different i feel now, sure i no im going to get plenty more bad days but thats ok, but for now i feel on cloud 9, it was such a wonderful day for lola and it is exactely what she deserved.
love to you all,
lisa - a very very proud mother x x
to our 1st grandadaughter
hello sweetheart its the eve of your memorial , me and julie are looking forward to speaking to you in the house of god, your mum and dad are really special and really proud of you .has we are really proud of them and you for being our first grand daughter,i say good night to you ever night with a tear in my eye wishing you were here,and will do for the rest of my life,until we are all together one day,behave yourself my little angel lots of love grandad x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
hey sweetness, its been 5 months today that u arrived sleepin, only seems 2 minutes since we were al talkin to you in mummys tummy and we were willin you to come early as we couldnt wait to meet you. it still hurts just as much today as it did 5 months ago when ur mummy told me you weren't coming but i know you're in a lovely place and we'l meet one day, never forget you little miss lola grace love always aunty til xxxxx
its a gorgeous day today so i hope you're havin fun princess xxxx
to my 1st grand daughter
to my beautiful grandaughter god bless you sweetheart,you are always in my thoughts and in my heart,you have just gone on ahead waiting for us to catch you up.you look down on us with a big grin your smile lights up the sky.and every night i say goodnight sleep tight to you and your mummy lisa and daddy my son kristian who would make you so proud just like you goodnight sleep tight my little angel lots of love to you all x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
Strength
I have just met your Mummy & Daddy here in Dubai. Your Mummy is the bravest & strongest woman I have ever met, and your Daddy a gentle loving man. They love you very very much & miss you with every heartbeat. Although you were called back to God too soon, you will never ever be forgotten, and when I look to the clear skies, you will be the brightest star shining down. God bless angel xxxxx
Lisa - you are an inspiration to all women out there. The dignified way you have handled this tragedy and still have that wonderful, funny, uplifting personality that I met last year is amazing. You truely are a better woman than I could ever be......Love and hugs Jules (Your Dubai Protector)
xxxx
Sleep Well Baby Commons xx
Lola pops,
I am disappointed in myself for not writing to you sooner but like everyone, I guess I just wanted to say the right thing....there is no right thing to say, I know that now. I just imagine the immense amount of love that was waiting to smother you when you were born and when you died, you broke so many hearts. I think it's so heart warming to witness the love that is still so evident even though you can't be with us all in person. I think that this portrays the fantastic qualities that your mummy & Daddy hold. I think your mum is so hard on herself, she thinks that she has to be okay, but we all know that she's not. I think that they are both amazingly strong in their hearts and they will never ever allow the memory of you to fade. I never feel as though you sholudn't be talked about, you are still such a big part of our lives. My own heart stopped when I heard that you had gone, I was so distraught. Me and Shane talked about you for days and nights. We lay in bed wondering why this had happened to two such wonderful people. I think that you have touched my life and others because my attitude to life has changed. I see your Mummy and Daddy laughing and TRYING to be normal, but they hurt so much and we all hurt with them. I get married in 11 weeks and had a place set for you, it is all still so surreal. You were beautiful and I know that you are here in spirit. My sister Nina, prayed for your Mummy & Daddy when you died and I know that some way, somehow, they will continue to find the strength to get through each day.
Sleep well Baby Commons, all our love Shane & Zoe xxxx
apart but together
well baby its been another month without you, 4 months and 1 day to be precise. we are all apart for the moment, mummy in dubai, daddy in vegas and you are in a special place called heaven. Me and daddy will be together soon and he sends me messages everyday to say he's missing you. It will be a while longer until we are all together though precious. Daddy and i miss you so much and we imagine what your little kisses would feel like on our cheeks, its something that we are never going to feel and that breaks our hearts. If one day we do have another baby, a brother or sister for you, to us you are always our first. you will always have a special place in all our hearts miss lola grace, your not even down here and yet you have a nickname totty-lolo. This world would have been a better place lola to have you in it. lots of love sweetheart. mummy and daddy x x x x x x x x
Hi, rebekah told me the news the other day, i too had a stillborn child 2 years ago in april, i know it isnt what you want to hear but it never gets easier you just learn new ways to deal with the the pain and lola's memory will always live on. i went on to have another baby a year later and the hospital were fantastic (city hospital) with regular scans and checks, but in my heart Leighton will always be my second son here or not and will never be replaced by another. there isnt much else i can say as i know words dont make it better or bring little bubba back, thinking of you. claire xx
Lola doesn't have any gifts yet. Why not be the first to add one?
Click here to leave Lola a gift
All proceeds from gifts go to the upkeep of GoneTooSoon and help keep this site free.
Create an ever lasting memorial for your loved ones.
Start here »
Using the options below you can add this memorial to your personal garden.
| I am Lola's ... | |
| Add to Garden: | |
| Notifications: | Text Message |
There have been 591 candles lit for Lola.
